On waxing

So yesterday was the first Michigan Cup race of the year (9k classic) and with the temperature fluctuating from 26-34 I was way out of my element.

So I had multigrade purple on initially but it wasn't working and I got scared. I started throwing things on listening to other people around me who probably knew less than I do with the "if some is good, more is better" philosophy. Finally I got something to work...and then it started to snow. Game over.

I had way way too much wax on to the point where I fell 4 times because my skis iced up and would simply stop on the downhills. Awful. I've never experienced that before. I really should have done well - I was right up at the front after 3k, feeling great, but then came the long downhill section and I just got dropped. I'd come to complete stops trying to shake off the ice so I could move. I finished a disappointing 8th.

But don't worry, I'm staying positive because physically I felt good, I just had crazy control issues because of the atrocious waxing job.

Note: the winner I think they disqualified for using skate skis (and some skate technique)- people were trying anything to avoid having to wax in those conditions.

Bottom line - I wish I was in Austria and I am very thankful for Scottie.

Hope all is well with everyone. Ski fast. Happy New Year!!

-Andrew

the last bandit left at riverside..

Intervals this morning were super fun on the slush/ice combo that is currently Weston Ski Track. While I'm honored that you guys entrusted me with the role of the rep for Harvard Nordic on our favorite golf course, I have to admit it gets a little lonely. and tedious. very tedious. It is nice to be the first in a workout again, though. Granted, I was skiing with girls from Eastern Mass's finest high school, Dover-Sherborn. So think of me when you're laboring through a 1k climb or testing out race skis in three feet of beautiful Austrian snow, and know I wish I were there. Until then, I'm going to go take out my frustration with MTV jams and Coach P's lift.

-Meri

1 hour

In an hour I'll be leaving my house, laden down with skis, boots, poles, clothes, and even a present, bound for the Manchester, NH airport, the first stop on my journey to Austria. If it's as much fun as Dave claims, you may never see me, Nabes, or Schulzy again. It's already 10:1 odds we never see Dave on this continent again.

I hope everyone has a wonderful, snowy holiday. Keep the training up, get some racing in, and make Harvard Nordic proud.

-- O

Coming soon to a blog near you: the Riverside Ski Bandits do Europe!

"He's a poet-warrior in the classic sense"

Remember when I warned the team that Dave was gonna go all Kurtz on us in Austria? It has officially happened.

With two swift clicks of the "publish post" button, Dave has vaulted off the deep end, landing, I'd guess, in a pile of German phrasebooks and poorly composed science papers. Every night he falls alseep to dreams of snails crawling across the edges of straight razors.

T-minus 4 days before I leave Saigon. I cannot wait to witness this first hand.

The horror, the horror,

-- O-A-Beezy


(if you didn't get the weird references, you really need to watch Apocalypse Now. I'm super serial.)

Training by the Numbers, Part 86

Latest Installment in "Training by the Numbers". Theta Chapter:

Today's day number of the year: 354, baby.
Number mintues trained on 354th day of year: 204
Number of 1 minute lev 5 sprints on day 354: 10
Number of Leberkäse sandwiches consumed for lunch after: 2. (Leberkäse is liver-cheese)
Number of delicious fruit/whey drinks consumed with lunch: 2
Rank of whey protein in terms of biological value (abililty to be absorbed as by organism and used to initiate new protein synthesis), as compared to other proteins: 1. Writing a paper on it, right now. How lame.
Number of reindeer farms spotted in New Leutasch while on 2 hour recovery ski: 1
"TOTAL NUMBER OF DEERS": 8. 6 babies, 2 adult DEERS. Counted using patended "Buck-Hunter" Deer counting algorithm.
Minutes wasted fooling around on the blog this afternoon: ...Not willing to disclose.
Days until the Sugarbush Tri-Dream Team continues its quest for world domination: That depends on if Nabel misses his flight or not, but could be as little as 7.

Math can be fun! Just not Math 1a or 1b. It's only fun when it involves the "Buck Hunter algorithm".

Happy holidays and a safe new year, team. See some of you quite soon and all the rest soon thereafter!

-Dave

FOUR QUESTIONS...

... Solid answers. Battling Gengis Kahn in Beito.

Eager Beaver Nordic Reader: Awesome! This blog post actually sounds like a blog I kno...

Me: FOUR QUESTIONS!

EBNR: Sorry. All ears!

Me: 1) Let me ask you something... how to you make a pie?

EBNR: Err... excuse me?

Me: Intensity. Determination. Stick to the plan. Review and consult. Adapt and exfoliate.

EBNR: ...Right. Got it.

Me: 2) How many licks does it take to get to the center of a BlowPop?

EBNR: This is getting a little ridiculous...

Me: DETERMINATION! FOUR QUESTIONS. I NEED ANSWERS.

EBNR: Sorry. Right. BlowPop... Wouldn't that depend on the conditions and the training hours that the licker has put in the previous summ...

Me: ANSWERS! NEVER ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION! The answer is: no licks. Only one big bite. And that's today. Right now. Not tomorrow. Now.

EBNR: What does that have to do with training?

Me: 3) How do I qualify for the races I want to do this season? How do I stay healthy while traveling? What does the latest study out of Sweden say about double pole technique? What is my current USSA ranking? How do I reach my dreams...

EBNR: Thank goodness! I was beginning to worry about these questions... I have no idea! I need to know! Last season sucked, I literally saw my hopes and dreams ahh-lyinn' on the grooounnndd...

Me: Patience, young Jedi. This one is actually very easy:

First off: Buy one of those alcohol detecting bracelets like Lindsay Lohan has. You know, the kind that shocks you repeatedly with a 9V battery when you even think about consuming alcoholic beverages.

Second: Put your academic, professional career and desirable relationship/love interests on the back burner. I mean wayyyy back. You might as well throw 'em in the damn microwave and forget about 'em. Quit chewing tobacco and using deodorant.

Third: Move into your Uncle Tom's Cabin far away from electricity and the internet, in a place where the sun seldom shines and the locals speak a dialect akin to Klingon, and simply train your face off. All the time. I mean, if you're not bounding or ski walking in your sleep, just forget about it. Intensity. Power. Passion. Also, listening to soothing Christian rock music really helps.

Fourth: Set goals. Set 'em really freakin' high. Goals have to be lofty and rather unattainable, things that you just can't live up to. Something like: "Best in the World...", but naturally you can't have that one because it's copyrighted cooperatively by Thomas Aalsgard and Bjørn Dæhlie but is tentatively being rented to the US Ski Team. Off limits. You could try something like, "Best in the Universe", but that's Captain Planet. "Best in the Galaxy" is Luke Skywalker, so I suppose good luck and talk to your coach about this one. Maybe, "Best within my state/county lines..." or something, but that may be snagged by your local law enforcement agency. Power. Passion.

EBNR: Wow. That was actually pretty helpfu....

Me: 4) With all of this training in a galaxy far, far away, how do I actually land the woman/man of my dreams?

EBNR: I have no idea! I'm so confused right now, girls really hate nordic skiing and they hate the smell of my Bjørn Dæhlie training clothes even more! Do tell!

Me: You're in luck. This answer is even easier than the last one. Just do exactly the opposite of everything in the answer to question #3. Also, moving and selling alot of illegal drugs will really bump your street cred. Trust me. I've seen Blow, Traffic and American Gangster. Do it.

EBNR: ...But you said in Appendix 1 to answer #3 to avoid elicit substances... are you sure that's what women really wan...

Me: FOUR QUESTIONS, FOUR ANSWERS!

EBNR: I'm really sorry.

Me: Battle Genghis Kahn in Beito...

EBNR: That's the second time I've heard that, what does that even mean?!

Me: Determination. Pride. Power. Best in the world. KNOW so you can GO. If your dreams aren't buried under mounds of prepositions and adjectives like power and puke your brains out, you're not going to stand a chance against Genghis.

EBNR: Those weren't really prepositions and adject...

That, young Padawan, is the light at the end of the tunnel. All your hard work, your passion, your lack of deodorant or hygienic bodyspray...

EBNR: There is no tunnel! That's just a stupid photo of the sun setting over some lame mountains! I'm trying out for the sailing team this spring. Forget it.

Me: Passion. Loneliness.

-Fin-

All photos copyright of TheKid Collections. Alright, reserved.

perhaps that was a bit hasty

First and foremost, in case no one caught it, the title of my previous post is a Delaney-ism that the bandits have come to know and love.

Anyway, on to how I was being a tad hasty. I didn't mean to insinuate that Martin Tauber is a horrible person just because he probably doped. We all know people who have made questionable decisions and still are good people. Hell, I've made some pretty shady calls and faced the subsequent consequences, and I still think I'm a decent person. Martin, like a lot of endurance athletes, got caught up in a regrettable cycle and made a bad call. That's it. Still can be a good dude.

The problem I was addressing is the idea that just because someone has the reputation of being a good person or just because you've known someone for a while, they couldn't possibly be guilty of whatever it is they're facing. It's all too common a defense, cited by parents, friends, (in this case) coaches, whomever. Problem is, it overlooks the root of the issue. In Martin's case, claiming that a resident of Seefeld couldn't be a doper by nature of his birthplace overlooks what it was that may have pushed him in to doping (or even merely tempted him to consider it).

To bring it closer to home, it's the same as a parent saying "No, my kid couldn't have been drinking alcohol because I know him and he wouldn't do something like that." You gotta look at the reasons why the kid may have messed up in order to fix the situation - denial gets you nowhere.

So there you go - my two cents on the issue. Hopefully I didn't offend anyone, as I fear the preceding post may have.

I still hate Roger Clemens,

-- O

"I don't even care ..."

Martin Tauber deserves his ban. Maybe he's a sweet dude, but he still had a syringe. I heard Tyler Hamilton's a sweet dude too, but he totally did it too (chimera defense my ass). Doping's a shitty business to get caught up in, but you gotta be harsh with the penalties if you ever want it to go away.

On a totally unrelated note, I have never been more concerned about my safety in Austria than after having read Dave's post on hitchhiking. God save us all.

F-ck the Rocket (does anyone reading this thing follow baseball?),

-- O-bizzay

Blood Doping

So today, before my 10k TT in Seefeld, I was hanging out in the stadium changing some clothes and saw this guy I'd noticed before, a master who strongly resembled NENSA Guru Bert Hinkley. I went over and introduced myself. He had a fantastic Seefeld dialekt which he toned down to speak with me, introducing himself as Der Franz. We spoke, and I grilled him about the best loop for a 10k TT. We decided that none was better than the WC race loop and he explained a cutoff to make it just the right distance with maximal pain infliction. I don't know how to say pain cave properly in German, but he understood what I meant.

Anyhow, I asked Franz about some upcoming races in the area and as I did, a guy in a Salomon Force team jacket cruised by, but no national team getup like most of the fast skiers in Seefeld. Franz stopped talking and asked me if I knew who he was. I said no, but I'd seen him around and noticed him absolutely ripping on the boards. Franz looked at me and said that his name was Tauber. I asked his first name, even though I already knew, and Franz replied understandingly, "Jaaaa, er ist der Martin." He flagged Martin over and introduced me. We chatted about some US politics, our shitty representation at the Bali Conference and most importantly, the lack of races between now and 12 Jan in Seefeld and the killer snow. Martin was busy, wished me luck in the TT and took off to do a Seefeld promotional photo shoot.

I asked Franz if Martin was a native Seefelder. Franz just pointed to a small cabin next to the tracks, adjacent to the famous Seefeld Chapel, a simple little house with a plume of smoke wiggling out of the chimney. Franz nodded and motioned to his knee, saying he knew Martin since before he could walk. Grew up coaching him, watched him rise to be a world class athlete, narrowly missing the top podium place in Davos last year. Franz then looked me in the eyes and said simply, "Lebenverbot". Lifetime ban. Franz explained that Martin had nothing wrong, only an empty syringe had been found in their house in Torino. No evidence of drugs was present. He paused and then wished me luck in my time trial, not expecting me to understand whe Martin hadn't used drugs. He grew up in Seefeld, he trained hard everyday. Couldn't cheat, couldn't use drugs.

I was just sort of blown away by the whole ordeal. Small towns, like Seefeld and Lake Placid, stand behind their athletes and even when those athletes are tarnished in newspapers worldwide and disowned by their coaches and governing bodies, they're still heroes in their own village.

Anyhow, TT was really good. I'm excited for this season. Martin Tauber is still really fast, and so is Franz. Maybe there is just something in the water here...

http://www.fis-ski.com/uk/newsinformation/pressreleases/press-releases-2007/doping-panel-torino-athl.html

http://www.martin-tauber.at/



-D

Dave's One Day Ski Vacation

The title of this post is certainly slightly deceiving, since my entire life has been essentially one drawn-out ski vacation. However, Saturday night I hopped the midnight train bound for anywhere and prayed I'd continue the fun. Actually, it was the 5:30 train bound for Schladming, not quite the Journey I cracked it up to be, but fun nonetheless.

I arrived in the cozy Alpine town of Schladming at 9pm, greeted by lightly falling snow and biting cold temps. I was also welcomed to Steiermark, Das Grüne Herz Österreichs by a British dude who promptly told me that all the buses to Ramsau were done for the day and I'd either have to shell out €30 ($198) for a taxi or risk hitchhiking up the hill to the nordic haven of Ramsau. (20k and 600m elevation gain away). Since having overdrawn my bank account back home, let's simply fast forward to me standing in the middle of an alpine pass with my thumb out, staring down at the twinkling town of Schladming, watching car after car pass. I finally appraised my situation: 9:45 pm. Dark. Holding cross country skis. Wearing Barilla pasta hat.

I decided then to play the "five more cars and I'm calling a taxi" game. It's fun to play, especially while stranded in central Europe with no real plan. After 16 cars, a work van pulled over. Two grizzled dudes told me to toss my gear into the maze of A/V equipment in back and hop in. I did, they offered me a cigarette, and we were off. Turns out Gietsche and Tiete were two good friends of the Mitter family, and Tiete had been a ski coach back in the day, spending two years in Burlington VT, and having spent many a day on Whiteface's slippery pistes.

I arrived wiped at the Bergschlößl, Mitter family headquarters and promptly fell asleep in the basement.

Next morning I squirted out early to enjoy the tracks before the Sprint NC event began, snapping some good photos. Met up with Billy D. during his warmup jog, then had a delicious Wurst and Glühwein breakfast before the jump comp.

Jumps were solid by the US crew, Billy starting out 2oth, 56 seconds/ 300 some odd meters out in the Hurricane sprint start. One of the latest of Joe Lamb's twisted combined format ideas, concocted after several margaritas at the bar at Desperado's. Ummm.... Desperado's. Lake Placid mexican food withdrawal...

Anyhow, got to hop in with Billy and Christoph Bieler during their warmup on the 2.5k hammerfest of a loop and took a spin on Billy's two day old '08 Atomic boards straight from the factory in Flachau. They seemed to work alright, bumping Billy up from 20th to a 6th place finish with the 2nd fastest race time. Solid work, boys.

Cooled down with Johnny, overlooking the beautiful Steiermark Central Alps, then got in a 1.5 hour ski on my own, popping into the Ramsau Rollerski track to say hello. The tracks were thankfully covered with a freshly groomed meter of the white, but nonetheless ready for Team VE RI EURO's arrival next July/August.

Nice work in the TT, guys. It looks like you've all made some great progress, killer job especially to Cara and Audrey, duking it out and negative splitting the last lap. Great pacing, nice job. Keep it up, see you guys soon. Enjoy the photos!

Stadion and Sprungschanze

Overcast weather, looks like a Hurricane's a-brewin!

German tri-fecta

Johnny lighting up the trial round

This stuff is everywhere. With the Bali Conference and whatnot, people hate our country right now.

Over and out, team. Keep it up.

-D

Slight bump in the road

Well, the nor'easter that was supposed to slam the East Coast didn't disappoint. We woke up this morning to white-out conditions that pulled the plug on our planned OD classic ski. Not the best idea to go sliding around Cambridge in a 12 passenger van that lacks snow tires. No matter, we're on for tomorrow instead.

I, for one, am slightly relieved by this development. Having raced yesterday with slight congestion I found myself with a solid post-race hack later yesterday evening. I also had that great cold-air-racing-fried-throat feeling going on. Cut to 11:30 this morning and I'm feeling much better (after 11+ hours of sleep).

Topping things off this morning , Kikkan Randall won a World Cup in Russia. Definitely going to be watching that on WCSN later. I may even build a snow fort, if it's not raining too hard.

Keep the focus (scroll down for TT results),

-- O

TT results

5.3k (approximately), 22F
	Finish (Adj.)
Ollie	0:14:40
Trevor	0:15:19
Anders	0:16:04
Chris N.	0:18:16
Cullen	0:18:47
	Finish (Adj.)
Cara	0:17:40
Audrey	0:18:16
Tannis	0:18:31
Alyssa	0:18:57
Anna	0:19:07
Meri	0:20:50
Anne	0:21:03
Jenn	0:25:36

It begins tomorrow

TT at Weston tomorrow. 5k skate hammerfest. We're all locked, loaded, and ready to rip, right?

I should be doing my work

... but instead I am posting these amazing videos of a young Peter Graves announcing a world cup on ESPN. Word.

Here's part one:



Here's part two:



Here's hoping the Arctic Express will come down from Canada,

-- O

New Definition of Pain and Suffering

Studying abroad is fun. You can learn new things. All the time. Today I learned the definition of pain and suffering.

So I've had a throat and chest cold the past three days which, as I mentioned earlier, has now fused with a surging wisdom tooth/inflamed gum to create cancer. I skipped class today to hit the Klinik and emergency dental service and give my UNO study abroad insurance a test-drive. After chilling in the waiting room for 2 hours and reading Tiroler Daily Newspaper back to back, I met the cruelest woman alive, along with her two friends.

I patiently explained to her that my German didn't contain many terms relevant to wisdom tooth removal, or excruciating pain. She compensated by speaking faster and sending me for xrays. Xrays in German are Röntgen. Röntgen. Just rolls off the tongue. You'll need to know this word for any worthwhile trip to central Europe.

She then asked me my past pertinent history, and how much I enjoyed being stabbed with huge needles in a swolen gum. What I must have responded with was, "Hi. I have no pertinent allergies, but love being stabbed with huge needles in my tender gums. Do it fast, without skill, and often, please. I love pain, oh and also burning down animal shelters filled with helpless puppies and kittens."

This made perfect sense to her. Not only did she stab my tender gums and roots with needles, cut out my swolen gum with a scalpel and floss with razor wire, but she called three colleagues over to watch. I almost soiled my underpants. After she was done, she took a break to harm small children and let me spit blood into a basin. Her assistant looked at me like I had tree trunks for hands and feet.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/12/wtree112.xml

Anyhow, I simply walked out so dazed that I forgot my coat, vest, bag and newspaper. The horrible dentist politely reminded me of my items, the single good deed of her dreadful existence. Thankfully I've got a box of pills and some mold to chew on for 4 days, so every infections cell in my body will be cleared out in time for the VE RI EURO camp. Expect Dave at top form and with new pain and suffering tolerance.

The coolest thing about Austrian hospitals is that they record, on video, all medical encounters to ensure safe patient care. Thankfully that devil woman let me keep my video on a 1.5mb Flash Drive, which I immediately renamed The Sword of a Thousand Truths. Now I can take her to the cleaners in malpractice court and also post it on youtube to show you the bloodbath that was my afternoon.

Hugs, team. Enjoy the video; it slightly resembles Downfall, a documentary of the last days of Hitler's regime:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYvZnTFpip0

Tomorrow I have no class and will be retreating to Seefeld for the day to recapture the glory.

-The Kid

Dancing on the Poletips

Servus Team!

After a rather long weekend, I'm finally back home digging into a big bowl of pasta, watching the ladies alpine world cup in Aspen on the tube, and throwing some scribbles on the blog.

The skiing was good in Hochfilzen this weekend, so it seemed. Spent this weekend off the boards, trying to shake off the remains of a chest and head cold combined with the resurgence of wisdom tooth misery. I'm not really pumped about looking into tooth removal here, but we'll see. At least this must mean that I'm becoming quite sage.

Today was a rough one for Jay, Lowell, Timmy and Jeremy on the tracks, after a tough round of first leg shooting (2 prone, 3 standing penalties...) left Team America behind the Chinese. Nonetheless, all the boys threw it all on the line on a super snowy ultra slog 7,5k track.

Kudos to Timmy for putting it all in today, his description of constant fatigue reminded me of my troubles from last season. Whereas I think that my strife with illness, erratic training and academic stress were mostly to blame, it sounds like Tim has to do some real work over the Christmas holiday to diagnose his fatigue. Cross country is just really hard on the body, physically and mentally. Dealing with a motor that just won't turn over is one of the toughest things to deal with as an athlete; it stresses the importance of simply listening to your body and knowing limits.

Anyhow, check out Tim's blog for an uncontaminated report straight from His Dudeness: http://timburke.us/

Here are some pretty bad pics from the race. It was snowing harder than I've ever seen with flakes as big as a US quarter, so no Vordenberg quality images this time. I did, however, learn some pretty cool stuff from this event:

1. Ole Einar Bjørndalen is my height (179cm) and weighs 147 pounds. He is tiny. Size doesn't mean speed in this sport.
2. I was expecting to see a V2 out of him that slightly resembled the Undertaker's powerslam on repeat. Instead I saw the lightest, most conservative V2 I'd ever seen. No wasted power, no extra torso heaving, only an almost ballet-like V2 that ground up the steepest hills on the course.
3. He lives on the border of Austria/Italy, in South Tirol.
   
4. These boys know how to make it hurt.
   

Despite a tough start, tough snow and a phenomenally obnoxious cheering squad, the US boys tore it up. Great job.

Der König des Biathlons. All 147 pounds of him.

Halvard Hanevold. Big dude, getting into a seriously low V1.

Weak photo of a strong Timmy Burke, churning up the toughest climb of the course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyXPp1P8rBY

Keep up the strong work.

D

Musings

On the way back from lift this morning I saw a dude skate skiing along the banks of the river in front of Eliot. I am concerned that his exposure of our sport combined with his beater technique and choice of venue will cause irreparable harm to our "street cred" amongst students of this university (note: said "cred" is already in the basement).

Also, I have a crush on our weight room intern.

Dave, if you keep turning the blog settings to German I will be forced to change the password. I hate krauts (note: this post brought to you by WWI and WWII anti-German hysteria).

That's all for now, folks.

-- O

How to Steal a 3-Wheeled Delivery Truck

*This post has nothing to do with skiing*

*The views and thoughts expressed in the following post do not correspond to the thoughts and actions of the author of the post and should therefore not be viewed by anyone*

Step 1:
Cautiously approach 3-Wheeled delivery truck. Make sure to be wearing brightly colored jackets to avoid suspicion.

Step 2:
Familiarize oneself with the controls. Note that the controls are the same as those of a moped.

Step 3:
Give the universal "Let's do this and get out of here" signal.

Step 4:
Back 'er out. Give the universal "I'm literally seconds away from being arrested/deported" signal.

Step 6:
Meet 95 year old Monch who promises to forgive you of your sins.


Step 7:
Retreat to Maison de Plaisir to forgive myself of my sins.

Off days can be fun!

-D

Welcome to the Limit

Today's OD skate roll was a good one. A cold one, for sure, but a good one all the same.

I can't, however, say the same for the van ride home. With Dave in Europe and Anders not in attendance, Nabel and I were left to hold it down on the Springsteen/South Park/cliche rock music front, to which I say: totally unacceptable.

Whether they know it or not, the freshmen are entering a brotherhood - a brotherhood bound together by unyielding ties, such as a fanatical devotion to South Park and a fiery love of the Boss. I'm taking it upon myself to put together a primer, in video form, of what it means to be a Harvard skier. Look at it as an extra credit homework assignment:

Bruce Springsteen ft. Sting - The River (live)



Paul Stanley - Live to Win (parts in Italian - YouTube is a bitch)



... and if you want to learn the lyrics (strongly suggested): http://youtube.com/watch?v=_OvpzForHyU

Wet Hot American Summer (turn the sound waaaaaaaay up)



That's all for now - more to come,

-- O

Getting it done

Morning practice is always hard, particularly on a Saturday, and even more so when you have Sunday morning on the schedule as well. But, showing consummate professionalism, 12 of us trooped down to the van at 9 this morning, wind-whipped and underdressed (Trevor Petach), to go do 6x4 minute bounding intervals at Prospect Park.

I was really impressed with the effort, particularly after what has seemed to be a rather stressful week of schoolwork for most of us. Both the guys and girls really got after it, pushing up the hill hard every time. Props. Mad props to Trev, Cullen, and Cara for getting after it in the first ski-specific intervals of the season.

Everyone watch this video, particularly the freshmen:



I'm old Gregg,

-- O