Wild turkey chicks are approximately four times the size of your average sparrow. Angry wild turkey mothers are closer to one hundred and four times the size of a sparrow. I am not sure what the airspeed velocity of an unladen turkey is, but while running at Van Ho a few days ago, I found out that the landspeed velocity of an unladen turkey rivals that of dumpy Camaros driven by redneck sixteen-year-olds through the back roads of Vermont… but it’s an even uglier sight. I was chased and nearly killed by a very protective, very large turkey when I almost stepped on her babies. Perhaps Chris Nabel is braver, or perhaps turkeys are scarier then sparrows, but either way, I do not plan on going back to that trail without several fully-loaded weapons.
Ferocious turkeys and snooty restaurant-goers aside, Lake Placid is the perfect summer home. The Price Chopper here even had buy-one-get-one-free beef the other day. Ollie and I like beef and we like deals. The poundage of beef currently in our freezer is greater than the average birthweight of healthy babies born in America. Next week, there will be a lot of turkey in there, too.
-Schulzy
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