It's official, half of the Austrian bandits are back stateside. After staying awake for 24 straight hours (hello, jetlag), I collapsed into bed at 1 in the morning last night after what could have been the worst travel day of my life, save for a few lucky breaks.
Nabes and I had a 1:10 flight from Munich that we needed to catch, so we figured we could take a morning train from Innsbruck and do all right. Dave found us a highspeed intercity express that would make it from Innsbruck to Munich in two hours before heading on to Berlin. And to make it even better, it left at 8:26 AM, so we wouldn't have to get up at the asscrack of dawn. Sounds great, right? Only problem was if we missed the train, the only other alternative was a regional train at 8:38 that would take over three hours to do the same trip.
We got to the Innsbruck train station at 8:10, with 15 minutes to go before the train left. Nabes watched the bags while I went into the grocery store to get some food for lunch, then we switched. After a few minutes, I looked at my watch and saw that it was 8:22 and Nabel was nowhere to be found. At 8:24 he emerged, carrying a schnitzel sandwich and some other treats. We grabbed our shit and hauled ass to the platform .. just in time to see the train leave without us. After some choice obsenities and a failed conversation with two chubby Euro dudes with snowboards we realized we had to roll the dice with the regional train and hope we could make our flight.
Cut to 4 hours later and I'm running through the Munich airport with two backpacks and a 48 pound ski bag and twenty minutes til my flight leaves. They rushed me through baggage check and I hustled off to security, only to have to empty my entire carry-on because the dude was sketched out by the wax brushes and iron Dave had given me to bring home. I got to the gate just in time to catch a few minutes of the Tour de Ski sprint on TV and watch as Nabel was downgraded from business to economy class (don't worry, he got 200 euros, his own personal meal, two seats in the front row in coach, and a bottle of champagne for his "troubles").
We made it from Munich to London, got through security with no problems, and made it to the terminal with time to spare. Chris even got me into the United Business Lounge (aka the Butterfly Lounge) as a guest. Then we got tagged for random bag checks at the gate, but even that wasn't so bad.
In DC we parted ways, tearfully, and I headed off to get my bags and go through customs before my connection to Manchester. Unfortunately, my bags had been improperly tagged in Munich and were on the other side of the DC airport. After the other shit I'd dealt with that day, finding my bags was cake. I settled down with a burger and a copy of Spin magazine (absolute trash, by the way) to kill time before my cramped flight to Manchester. Things were pretty uneventful from there on out, so I'll leave you with some takeaway points.
Ollie's Ve-Ri-Euro Travel Tips, a Guide for the Traveling Bandit:
- Get a wheelie ski bag, it'll really help when you're sprinting through train stations like a madman, yelling in English at Germans.
- Christopher Shield Nabel is always late. For everything. Like, later than Anna after a trip to Eastern Europe.
- Schnitzel sandwiches are delicious. They will also prove to be a wrench in the works of even the best laid travel plans.
- Nothing makes doing dishes easier than Pocahontas sing-a-longs with Nabel.
- Pretending no one understands English in Europe makes everything more fun (including acting like you have Tourettes).
- Euro-pop is amazing. Legit, amazing. Proof (in video form) is available below.
Sorry for the long post, but it was a story worth telling. Anyway, here's a video for the theme song of the Ve Ri Euro camp:
I'm off to the Butterfly Lounge,
-- O
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