Loitzl Dominates Prestigious 4-Hills Tournee

So, few readers of this online rag know what ski jumping is, let alone the significance of the 4-Hills Tournee. For reference, the 4-Hills is to the fans of ski jumping what a monster-truck rally is to the fans of, well, monster-truck-rallying, whenever the Gravedigger jumps over like 68 cars. Okay, if you don't know what the Gravedigger is, that's just downright embarrassing. But you probably guessed it, it's a hearse/MonsterTruck combo that just decimates any competition. Now, and only now, can you truly appreciate the merit of a 4-Hills Win.

Yep, Wolfgang Loitzl of Austria just destroyed it. This dude had never won a WorldCup in his 11 years on the circuit, despite having 4 Gold World Championship medals (all in the team event). He'd been runner up in a WC six times, then rolls into the most prestigious four days of competition of the year, and dethrones World Cup leader Simon Ammann to win 3/4 of the comps, taking the overall title.

Why is this so ridiculous, you ask? In this day in age when Ricardo Ricco and and Bernhard Kohl can just pop a few pills to steal their 4 days of glory in the Tour de Lance?

It's simple. Because in 2003, this guy just sucked. I mean, we're talking beat-tastic. [Think, Michael Jordan's esteemed professional golf career] Need youtube evidence? You got it. See him here in this classic video simply entitiled, "Ski Jumper Fucks Up":

That's young Wolfgang in 2003, and as you can tell, he can't make it off the takeoff on his feet. Then, miraculously, he goes on to seal his 4-Hills win in Bischofshofen, AUT, with a 142.5 meter ride, to which the judges awarded five- 20 point style marks. That's a feat that's only been accomplished by two other jumpers in the history of the sport. One of those jumpers happened to be Audun Lutnaes, proud graduate of the National Sports Academy.

Without further ado, one of the three prettiest jumps, and probably biggest doping shams, in the history of ski jumping:

Yeah, he's good. But he didn't jump over 57 cars in a hearse outfitted with 6' tires. Yawn.

Side note, a hearty congratulations to Anna Schulz, for posting her first win in the even more prestigious WESTON TUESDAY NIGHTER. Somebody had to [wo]man up and slay. We're more thankful, however, that nobdy ended up in the Mass General ICU with head trauma.

'Til next time.

Dave

Nordic Confused...

An apt decription of the athletes who decideto juggle their time between the Nordic tracks and the jump hill. But what a season those US Noco boys are having, huh? Results from yesterday in Oberhof GER, Lodwick 2nd in an epic sprint finish after jumping himself into 5th following a 2 season hiatus from the WC scene. The rest of the US breakdown: Demong in 5th, 41 seconds back, and Johnny with a strong finsih in 7th, but sadly DQ'd for failing to ski with a transponder. Eric Camerota in 39th.

So, unofficially that's 3 Americans in the top 7. Taking a look at the Continental Cup results, the latest event at Whistler's Olympic Park landed 4 Americans in the top 10. Overall standings for the CC tour put Lodwick in 1st, Brett in 2nd, Fletcher in 5th, Alex Miller in 17th, and Willy G in 21st.

That's a pretty freakin' solid start to the season, especially considering the size of the American Nordic Combined talent pool, which currently hovers around 17 on a sunny, injury-free day. Also keep in mind that all of these skiers come from one of three clubs: LPSC, SSWSC or NSF. Statisticaly, that's just mind boggling. Given, combined enjoys a much smaller talent pool world-wide, but we're still talking about World Cup wins, and spot on that podium is coveted nonetheless.

Now take a look at the special XC side of things: our lone distance skier in the points with a season high of 16th in sunny Kuusamo. And our sprint guru Newell with a pre- Xmas top WC finish in 11th, twice in Kuusamo & Dusseldorf. Plus, team relay in 4th.

Don't get me wrong, these are solid results in the points, but why is it so tough to see American skiing get an athlete into that coveted top 10? Sure, global talent pool is huge, but then again, so is ours. Ski clubs all across the country are pumping out fit skiers faster than the Fed is slashing interest rates and pumping out the green and a competitive high school and Eastern Cup circuit are providing juniors the chance to ski against top domestic racers, former Olympians and World Championship vets. From there, skiers can pop into the ranks of a team on the college circuit, where talented junior skiers simply go to die. College skiing is really the graveyard of young national talent. Instead of being urged to pursue athletic careers with a degree in hand, a scant future of poorly funded domestic teams and a severly under-devloped national team program are all that await the recently enlightened.

United States Nordic Combined: "Long name, amazing results"

So, some food for thought as you grind out the k's and tick away at Lars Flora's tasty 12 days of Xmas workout. What's to blame for the endless drought of US cross country success on the world scene? All in, all out, who cares if the top season distance result is 16th anyway?

My suggestion, take a lesson from your combined buddies, throw a little Tool into the mp3 and just start dropping the hammer.

No excuses.

D

Pre Xmas ski of the Big One

Woods: "Badman, how are you wasting your life away tomorrow?"
Badman: "Skiing Marcy with Robbie".
Woods: "You know, I've never skied Marcy before Christmas."
Badman: "Would it be safe to assume that none of the Big Fellas have either? Would this be an ascent of epic proportions?"
Woods: "Probably."

4+ feet of the pow.

Merry Christmas indeed.






Happy Holidays from your friends at Crimson Nordic, Worldwide.

Snö

Today my weather forecast addiction was rewarded with the following delectable tidbit: the Green Mountain State is all pink and as all weather nerds know, pink means snow.

...WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 4 PM THIS AFTERNOON TO 4 PM EST FRIDAY... THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN BURLINGTON CONTINUES THE WINTER
STORM WARNING FOR HEAVY SNOW AND SLEET FOR ESSEX COUNTY NEW YORK...AS WELL AS CENTRAL...NORTH CENTRAL AND NORTHEASTERN VERMONT. THIS WARNING IS IN EFFECT FROM 4 PM THIS AFTERNOON TO 4 PM EST FRIDAY. 6 TO 12 INCHES OF SNOW WITH SOME SLEET ACCUMULATION ARE EXPECTED IN THE WARNING AREA BY FRIDAY AFTERNOON.

If Tom Messner's eye on the sky suffered one of its frequent bouts of blindness and it doesn't snow a foot in VT tonight I'll be sorely disappointed and, out of desperation, will be forced to make my teammates do their best to convince the snow gods to royally dump on us. I'm not too worried, though, because we have tips from the experts:



No worries when it does snow, though, because David and I do NOT drive like this:

But rather more like this:

Hoppas att det snöar snart!

-Schlutzer

Dave wrote a blog post about breakfast pizza

Right after Thanksgiving camp, Coach City announced to us his observation that despite some pretty long training days, we all appeared to look more rested and healthier by the end of camp. He attributed this to sleeping more than we usually do when at school and told us that we should begin to prioritize sleep and focus on being rested and healthy.

I, of course, took him quite literally and proceeded to attend a grand total of 7 hours of class last week. This week, I’m trying to sleep enough AND go to class, which means I’m sitting in “Molecules of Life” vaguely paying attention to stem cells, but paying much more attention to the abominable shape in which David left our blog. Breakfast pizza? Really? That’s not even one of the most interesting or bizarre things on the HUDS menu. For example, today’s list of offerings includes (but is not limited to) the following items:

- Italian Wedding Soup: is the color of mucus and has lumpy things in it that I think look a lot like eyeballs… was never and will never be served at a wedding in Italy or anywhere else.

- Mahi Mahi Honey Ginger Glaze: unclear what this actually is, though it’s listed under entrees. Mahi mahi might be fish, which would make this dish a fish-honey-ginger glaze. What would you glaze with that, I wonder?

- Portobello Lentil Pattie: not altogether disturbing, unless you consider the fact that it constitutes the third appearance of the word “pattie” on the day’s menu and also looks like lumps of poop.

- Candy Roaster Squash: evidence that HUDS lies, because (a) it does not taste like candy, not at all—it just tastes like squash, and (b) it’s still being touted as fresh, sustainable, local produce (but it was fourteen degrees in Boston yesterday, and I’m pretty sure that all things shrink into nonexistence when it gets that cold).

Note: Nabel, I just looked up and saw on the board “neuraminidase inhibitor R-125489 mimics structure of sialic acid like Tamiflu,” which means I’ll probably need your help on my homework.

- Spicy Black Beans: only unnerving because it was on the breakfast, lunch, and dinner menus, which means that our van to and from practice will smell like death. If Chris Nabel were here, he would guarantee such a stench by bringing spicy black beans to practice with him in a paper cup that also contained sour cream and probably pudding.

- Sticky Rice: is only thing that Oliver Burruss would eat for dinner with the exception of four pieces of grilled chicken, given that the menu otherwise lacks pasta sauce, cheddar cheese, saltines, and oreos.

But we only have another week of HUDS food to get through and then it's back to 730 Swamp Road, which means that all of our meals will look like this:

Trapps got 5" of fresh white stuff yesterday, so we're hopeful that the snow will live through some of the rain forecasted for this week and that we can all get on our new race boards for the Eastern Cups. More importantly, I promise that this will be the last blog post about HUDS. Ever. Sorry for leaving the blog in even worse shape than Dave did,

-Schlutz

For the Very First Time...

Today is a special day indeed. For the first time in my 3.4 year career at Harvard College USA, I was brave enough to walk into the dining hall and face my greatest fear to date: the HUDS breakfast pizza. Now hold on- I know just what you're thinking: How could one realistically stomach such a medley of stale crust, last week's shriveled green peppers, and mystery meat? Good question. 

Well, I just grabbed a wedge with the oatmeal scooper, and dumped it on board next to my bowl of steel-cut. Verdict? It sucked. Totally sucked. No surprise there. But then I got up and got another slice, becasue the prospect of HUDS Breakfast Pizza was just one of those special college memories I can't let slip through my fingers during this senior year. Anna feels the same way, and she's planning on trying some breakfast pizza next Thursday. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go help Nabel clean his room: 

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/852526961.html

D

Editor's Note: Has anyone else noticed a sharp decline in the quality/content of Dave's posts?

Inspiration

Sometimes, all we need in life is just a little inspiration. Quite frankly, I'm not sure how people seemed to find this in the dark days before youtube. Perhaps inspiration just didn't even exist back then. Whatever.

So if you're stuck with three ultra-lame papers to write before you can bust out of here before Christmas Break/Camp, I figure you'll need a little extra motivation. This first video is good for those days when you wake up feeling like you can just wake up and crush it, you know? Think-Ethan Weibrecht shredding up Lake Placid:

Good. So if you're already in a crush-it state of mind, watch this video. Then, head out to the ski tracks, start yelling at some random skier, tear off one of your pole-tips, and forcefully challenge them to a head to head 100m sprint. Don't worry-chances are they've already seen this video, so they'll totally understand why you just kicked their Chariot child carrier out of the "sprint lane" to make for a "fair Norway-Sweeden  fight".  

But maybe you're not already in that kind of mood. Maybe you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Hell, maybe you just fell out of the bed altogether, and you just need to watch something to affirm the fact that other people have bad days, too. Here's one. Looks like David Millar had a pretty bad day here. 

Well, that should take care of your daily inspiration. Take away points? Hmm. I guess either start tearing off pole tips, or tossing bikes over barriers, but either way, you should walk away from it pretty charged up.

Did I really just write this garbage? Yes. Yes I did.

-DMac