I should be doing my work

... but instead I am posting these amazing videos of a young Peter Graves announcing a world cup on ESPN. Word.

Here's part one:



Here's part two:



Here's hoping the Arctic Express will come down from Canada,

-- O

New Definition of Pain and Suffering

Studying abroad is fun. You can learn new things. All the time. Today I learned the definition of pain and suffering.

So I've had a throat and chest cold the past three days which, as I mentioned earlier, has now fused with a surging wisdom tooth/inflamed gum to create cancer. I skipped class today to hit the Klinik and emergency dental service and give my UNO study abroad insurance a test-drive. After chilling in the waiting room for 2 hours and reading Tiroler Daily Newspaper back to back, I met the cruelest woman alive, along with her two friends.

I patiently explained to her that my German didn't contain many terms relevant to wisdom tooth removal, or excruciating pain. She compensated by speaking faster and sending me for xrays. Xrays in German are Röntgen. Röntgen. Just rolls off the tongue. You'll need to know this word for any worthwhile trip to central Europe.

She then asked me my past pertinent history, and how much I enjoyed being stabbed with huge needles in a swolen gum. What I must have responded with was, "Hi. I have no pertinent allergies, but love being stabbed with huge needles in my tender gums. Do it fast, without skill, and often, please. I love pain, oh and also burning down animal shelters filled with helpless puppies and kittens."

This made perfect sense to her. Not only did she stab my tender gums and roots with needles, cut out my swolen gum with a scalpel and floss with razor wire, but she called three colleagues over to watch. I almost soiled my underpants. After she was done, she took a break to harm small children and let me spit blood into a basin. Her assistant looked at me like I had tree trunks for hands and feet.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/12/wtree112.xml

Anyhow, I simply walked out so dazed that I forgot my coat, vest, bag and newspaper. The horrible dentist politely reminded me of my items, the single good deed of her dreadful existence. Thankfully I've got a box of pills and some mold to chew on for 4 days, so every infections cell in my body will be cleared out in time for the VE RI EURO camp. Expect Dave at top form and with new pain and suffering tolerance.

The coolest thing about Austrian hospitals is that they record, on video, all medical encounters to ensure safe patient care. Thankfully that devil woman let me keep my video on a 1.5mb Flash Drive, which I immediately renamed The Sword of a Thousand Truths. Now I can take her to the cleaners in malpractice court and also post it on youtube to show you the bloodbath that was my afternoon.

Hugs, team. Enjoy the video; it slightly resembles Downfall, a documentary of the last days of Hitler's regime:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYvZnTFpip0

Tomorrow I have no class and will be retreating to Seefeld for the day to recapture the glory.

-The Kid

Dancing on the Poletips

Servus Team!

After a rather long weekend, I'm finally back home digging into a big bowl of pasta, watching the ladies alpine world cup in Aspen on the tube, and throwing some scribbles on the blog.

The skiing was good in Hochfilzen this weekend, so it seemed. Spent this weekend off the boards, trying to shake off the remains of a chest and head cold combined with the resurgence of wisdom tooth misery. I'm not really pumped about looking into tooth removal here, but we'll see. At least this must mean that I'm becoming quite sage.

Today was a rough one for Jay, Lowell, Timmy and Jeremy on the tracks, after a tough round of first leg shooting (2 prone, 3 standing penalties...) left Team America behind the Chinese. Nonetheless, all the boys threw it all on the line on a super snowy ultra slog 7,5k track.

Kudos to Timmy for putting it all in today, his description of constant fatigue reminded me of my troubles from last season. Whereas I think that my strife with illness, erratic training and academic stress were mostly to blame, it sounds like Tim has to do some real work over the Christmas holiday to diagnose his fatigue. Cross country is just really hard on the body, physically and mentally. Dealing with a motor that just won't turn over is one of the toughest things to deal with as an athlete; it stresses the importance of simply listening to your body and knowing limits.

Anyhow, check out Tim's blog for an uncontaminated report straight from His Dudeness: http://timburke.us/

Here are some pretty bad pics from the race. It was snowing harder than I've ever seen with flakes as big as a US quarter, so no Vordenberg quality images this time. I did, however, learn some pretty cool stuff from this event:

1. Ole Einar Bjørndalen is my height (179cm) and weighs 147 pounds. He is tiny. Size doesn't mean speed in this sport.
2. I was expecting to see a V2 out of him that slightly resembled the Undertaker's powerslam on repeat. Instead I saw the lightest, most conservative V2 I'd ever seen. No wasted power, no extra torso heaving, only an almost ballet-like V2 that ground up the steepest hills on the course.
3. He lives on the border of Austria/Italy, in South Tirol.
   
4. These boys know how to make it hurt.
   

Despite a tough start, tough snow and a phenomenally obnoxious cheering squad, the US boys tore it up. Great job.

Der König des Biathlons. All 147 pounds of him.

Halvard Hanevold. Big dude, getting into a seriously low V1.

Weak photo of a strong Timmy Burke, churning up the toughest climb of the course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyXPp1P8rBY

Keep up the strong work.

D

Musings

On the way back from lift this morning I saw a dude skate skiing along the banks of the river in front of Eliot. I am concerned that his exposure of our sport combined with his beater technique and choice of venue will cause irreparable harm to our "street cred" amongst students of this university (note: said "cred" is already in the basement).

Also, I have a crush on our weight room intern.

Dave, if you keep turning the blog settings to German I will be forced to change the password. I hate krauts (note: this post brought to you by WWI and WWII anti-German hysteria).

That's all for now, folks.

-- O

How to Steal a 3-Wheeled Delivery Truck

*This post has nothing to do with skiing*

*The views and thoughts expressed in the following post do not correspond to the thoughts and actions of the author of the post and should therefore not be viewed by anyone*

Step 1:
Cautiously approach 3-Wheeled delivery truck. Make sure to be wearing brightly colored jackets to avoid suspicion.

Step 2:
Familiarize oneself with the controls. Note that the controls are the same as those of a moped.

Step 3:
Give the universal "Let's do this and get out of here" signal.

Step 4:
Back 'er out. Give the universal "I'm literally seconds away from being arrested/deported" signal.

Step 6:
Meet 95 year old Monch who promises to forgive you of your sins.


Step 7:
Retreat to Maison de Plaisir to forgive myself of my sins.

Off days can be fun!

-D

Welcome to the Limit

Today's OD skate roll was a good one. A cold one, for sure, but a good one all the same.

I can't, however, say the same for the van ride home. With Dave in Europe and Anders not in attendance, Nabel and I were left to hold it down on the Springsteen/South Park/cliche rock music front, to which I say: totally unacceptable.

Whether they know it or not, the freshmen are entering a brotherhood - a brotherhood bound together by unyielding ties, such as a fanatical devotion to South Park and a fiery love of the Boss. I'm taking it upon myself to put together a primer, in video form, of what it means to be a Harvard skier. Look at it as an extra credit homework assignment:

Bruce Springsteen ft. Sting - The River (live)



Paul Stanley - Live to Win (parts in Italian - YouTube is a bitch)



... and if you want to learn the lyrics (strongly suggested): http://youtube.com/watch?v=_OvpzForHyU

Wet Hot American Summer (turn the sound waaaaaaaay up)



That's all for now - more to come,

-- O

Getting it done

Morning practice is always hard, particularly on a Saturday, and even more so when you have Sunday morning on the schedule as well. But, showing consummate professionalism, 12 of us trooped down to the van at 9 this morning, wind-whipped and underdressed (Trevor Petach), to go do 6x4 minute bounding intervals at Prospect Park.

I was really impressed with the effort, particularly after what has seemed to be a rather stressful week of schoolwork for most of us. Both the guys and girls really got after it, pushing up the hill hard every time. Props. Mad props to Trev, Cullen, and Cara for getting after it in the first ski-specific intervals of the season.

Everyone watch this video, particularly the freshmen:



I'm old Gregg,

-- O